I like to go on adventures. Just local ones mainly but I’m always going to new places in search of fresh countryside experiences.
Currently, I live in the most urban area I’ve ever lived and also the dirtiest so, for me, it’s very important to get out to the countryside, appreciate fresh air, trees, old stone-cottage villages and pleasant walks. It also gives a totally different perspective on humanity. The local businesses around where I live are all very friendly but people in the streets don’t make eye-contact or say, “Good morning”. When I’m in the countryside, people are generally much more likely to smile and say hello. It’s like a shared-experience of being in the outdoors, but I also believe that nicer people generally gravitate towards these places and are more likely to appreciate them for what they are.
If you think me a snob at this point, I kind of am, but let me get real for you. Outside my house, people careen around on off-road motorbikes (but on the road) wearing no helmets. Cars blaze with thumping music whilst their exhausts crackle with intentionally-loud turbo injectors. On my walk yesterday, there was none of that. It was like going back to a simpler time, as evidenced by the image below. I know everyone’s different, but I just want a peaceful life.
When I got home, I got out the car and a younger couple passed me on the street. I caught a snippet of their conversation. “No, it’s our Charlie who’s inside for murder.” Seriously. I could only laugh (internally of course) at the extremity of the comment and the vast difference between where I’d just been and where I was now.
If you’re wondering how I ended up in such a place, I ask myself the same question almost every day. Needless to say, I don’t belong here. This is not the environment a writer feels at home in. But it tends to be the same reason the aforementioned “nicer people” live in the nice areas and the people with worse lives are stuck in the poorer areas – money.
In England, a lot of people are born into money, have good upbringings and educations, and the cycle of wealth continues. The opposite is true for poorer people with bad upbringings and basic education and I’m not immune to that fact. And I’m obviously generalising here – it’s a little more complicated than that – and I live in this bad area and I like to think I’m a nice person…albeit a snobbish one.
As much as I dislike it, there’s a reason the pub opposite is so raucous – people have nothing else to do. They don’t see a way out, so they at least try to have some fun. I get that. Unless you have real direction from a very young age and work tirelessly towards that goal, it’s extremely difficult to change your situation. I’m a little different as I grew up in greener places and seem to be doing my upmost to go backwards in life, but that’s a different story and one I’ve told before.
For now, being locked in that struggle is part of what motivates me. I sometimes wonder how much happier I’d really be if I had made it. If I did live in a beautiful, detached house in a quiet area. Would I still write as powerfully? Would I write at all if I didn’t need to? I like to think so because that drive doesn’t come from circumstance, alone, but it’s an interesting question. Self-satisfaction doesn’t come from money but options do, and that counts for living conditions, quality of life, hobbies, spare time and what kinds of experiences you can have.
If I have any message to pass on this week, it’s one of perseverance. If you are stuck in the struggle like I am, keep going. Whether you’ve already made a great life for yourself or not, appreciate those things – appreciate all the small things you enjoy doing. The common mantra of 2020 is “stay safe” but I’d like to lean on a timeless English one instead. Keep calm and carry on.
A. J. Austin
theinnerlands.com 