My last week in numbers:
- 40+ hours chained to a desktop/laptop
- 1 ½ hours stuck in stationery traffic whilst an air ambulance landed on the road
- 2 works in progress actually making progress
- 2 hours exercising
- 2 weekend adventures
- 1 incredibly annoying rabbit
- 3 sleepless nights
I thought I’d try something a bit different today and reflect on some of the things plaguing my mind/time this past week.
I always spend a lot of time in front of a computer and, like most humans, I can’t say I’m that suited to it but I’m also aware there are far worse things I could be doing. Could be breathing in some harmful chemical every day in a factory. Could be doing all-night road works or hospital shifts. Could be dodging landmines on foreign soil.
I’m not saying all of these jobs aren’t worthwhile, I’m just thinking I’m lucky to be able to get up and make a cup of tea when I want. I used to work in convenience stores, once upon a time, and on Saturdays I often did the 9am to 1pm shift, then go and play 11-a-side football, then come back and do the 6pm to 10pm evening shift. Yep, life has improved, even if my living standards haven’t.
That brings me on to the sleepless nights. I’ve been sleeping great since the lockdown began and now I realise that’s solely down to the fact the pub across the road has been closed. Honestly, having played football throughout my teens and twenties, I’ve been to some rough places. At university, our local for a while was the pub where one of the bar staff apparently got shot by her father. On retrospect, this might not be true but the point is, even I wouldn’t set foot in this pub near me.
The average IQ is around 100 and most of the people I socialise with would be above this number, which has always led me to believe there must be a lot of people weighing in below the average. Otherwise it wouldn’t be an average, right? Well, good news! I think I’ve found them. The noises that come out of this place in the evenings. It’s mostly shouting but it’s consistent shouting, like that’s just the way these people speak. I think there were two fights this weekend on two separate nights (way to celebrate reopening!) but I’m just pleased the regular singing of Oasis songs has stopped. That was a low point. I’ve taken to turning up the volume on Alexa’s “rain sounds” until the monsoon in my room drowns out the cries of idiocy. “Alexa, volume up…..Alexa, volume up.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”
“Alexa, turn the f***ing volume up.”
“There’s no need to be rude.”
“Yes there is a need, Alexa! There’s most definitely a need! Now turn the f***ing volume up!”
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”
(Gives in and says calmly) “Alexa, volume up.”
Now, I’m a pretty tolerant guy but I won’t pretend I’m not having murderous thoughts when it’s 3am and I haven’t slept a wink.
So, what else have I been up to? Oh yeah, I saw helicopter land on the main road. That was a first.
I went to a wild boar park where you got to admire these incredible animals, and then buy a pulled wild boar sandwich if you wanted. I didn’t. A tad disrespectful methinks. Also, I’m sorry to keep on about this, northerners, but what’s with the tracksuits? Tracksuits in the city, tracksuits on country walks, tracksuits at the wild boar park – wtf? I know I might be considered semi-posh, coming from the south and all, but I don’t care that much about my appearance and I still feel some nagging need to at least put some clean jeans on when I leave the house. And another thing: playparks. They’re everywhere. Why would you need a f***ing playpark in a wildlife “park”? Didn’t you come to see the animals? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?
Sorry, I did say I haven’t slept much.
Oh, I went for a walk and saw this:
That was cool.
I’ll let your imaginations fill in the rest of this blog.
(Final note to self – next time, at least talk about your work in progress….)
theinnerlands.com 