6 Things I Hate About Numbered Lists

Have you noticed how every throwaway blog or article these days starts with a number? You know what I’m talking about.

5 signs that your cat loves you

10 reasons why Egypt is the coolest place on earth

7 make-up tips for saving time in the morning

I have a difficult time with herd mentalities, that is, when something begins to catch on, and everybody blindly jumps on the bandwagon in some vain hope to be popular.

Yep, you’ve guessed it, this isn’t a blog at all, this is one of my infamous rants (and by infamous I mean not famous, which isn’t the correct use of the word, but I don’t care). Incidentally, I’ve decided the main difference between a blog and a rant on this site, is that my blogs generally deal with logic, reason and objectiveness (it is a word, look it up). Whereas, rants just throw all that out the proverbial window in exchange for some innate, unexplained desire to vent about things I illogically hate for no sensible reason.

I’d imagine that this new fascination with numbered lists spawned from the same nuanced impatient tendency (thank you) that seems to plague us all in today’s full-speed-ahead society. Me included.

There’s something about a number that is easy to understand – we know exactly how many things are going to be in this list, it’s going to be easy and quick to digest and then we can move on to the next thing. There’s very little commitment needed. There’s obviously also been some algorithms at play here too; the amount of “hits” on a “numbered list” article compared to that of a standard article…wait, what am I doing? This is a rant, not a blog!

Don’t worry, no more reading. Here’s my list of 6 things I hate about numbered lists:

1. Everybody’s doing it
2. I’m doing it because everybody’s doing it
3. I can no longer comprehend how we ever read anything before
4. When someone uses a number less than 5
5. When someone uses a number more than 10
6. When you have to move on to another page to see the next number, which is only done to add even more “hits” and opportunities for advertising on your stupid, moronic website
7. The fact I know that and have evidently still done it. More than once.
8. Yes, I’m aware this is more than 6 now. That’s how I’m breaking the rules.
9. I’m retracting 8. because this is something I actually like. I’m retracting 9. too.

So, there you have it…..7 things I hate about numbered lists. That’s it. Here’s an advert.